Updated: Mar 24, 2020
I remember looking at content on the internet/social media and becoming depressed. I would see people who I've taught, helped, and encouraged doing better than me. I kept seeing books being published that seemed to have much less substance than what I've produced. I kept hearing about people being discovered and I was still struggling. Sometimes it was hard to be happy for those around me who were achieving success because I was so miserable. I could not understand why I wasn't successful. The more I focused on why I wasn't this, that, and the third the easier it was to forget about the things that make me amazing.
I lost sight of my own gifts and talents because I was wrapped up in what everyone else was doing. I gave up on what I knew to be my calling to chase what I thought I saw in everyone else. I walked away from writing once again to try just about everything to produce income. The more I started to look at my situation I noticed something. Even though I thought I was taking a break from writing, I was incorporating it into everything I was doing. I blogged about my experiences as a ride share driver. I wrote for my branding/marketing company. I continued to write for clients. I wrote for school. I also wrote for healing when things got too heavy for me.
I thought I was giving up on my calling but I was still connected to it. I was still taking courses, attending webinars, reviewing master classes, and making viable connections. I continued to watch the path of my life and I noticed how consistent writing really was in my life. It was more consistent than I was. I looked at the choices I've made in relation to writing over the years and concluded that I've neglected my writing more than I've nurtured it. I was always confident in my writing because I recognized that it was a gift years ago. However, I did not believe that I would have to work as hard as I will have to in order to be the writer that I want to be.
Part of that is because I just now have direction. For so long I was an aimless writer. Skilled in many areas of writing but mastering very few. Even when I started my writing company, I wanted to provide a writer for every need. I wanted a one-stop writing shop. When I started working on the branding/marketing company with my business partner, I learned about a lot of mistakes I made with my writing company. One of my main mistakes was not funneling my ideas into tangible goals. I learned that I have to have clear goals in order to take the proper steps to live the life I want.
3 Steps I'm Taking To Improve My Journey As A Writer
Stop Comparing Myself. I know I'm the shit. I'm not arrogant like I said, I'm gifted. There is no point in comparing myself to others or measuring my success by what they post on social media. The more I focus on what others are doing and comparing myself to them, the less time I am focusing on my gift. That's not gonna work with the way my goals are set up.
Allow my gift to lead. I keep trying to make stuff happen on my own without allowing my gift to work in divine time. My gift has been showing me the steps to take and I was ignoring the signs that were leading the way. I cannot allow patience to evade me. Things will work out how they are supposed to if I allow my gift to open doors for me. I found out it is so much easier that way.
Respect the gift and work hard. A lot of times I felt like it should have been easier because my gift is so dope. I didn't respect the grind and hustle that come along with having a dope gift. I also had no real direction. This was one of the hardest things to realize because I was focused on everything else. I knew I wanted to write but had no clue on what type of writer I wanted to be or how to achieve it.
After taking the time to look inside of myself I made a choice to be true to my gift and humble myself. I know which direction I want to go in and I know what I need to do to attain those goals. I'm excited about my new beginnings. I'm looking forward to the new lessons and new opportunities. I've grown in many aspects of my life and I still have more growing to do. Hopefully, I will continue to be a light to others and help them speak truth to their own lives.
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