Updated: May 16
How often do we cheat ourselves out of the things that we really want in life? The business we want to start, the trip we’ve been dreaming to take, and the career move we want to make. Too often we compromise what we really want for something that's easier to have. We end up running in circles like a hamster on a wheel and never really get anywhere. We are depriving ourselves of the life we deserve by not fulfilling our purpose.
You're not alone, this is something I struggled with too.
How I Stopped Cheating Myself
Last summer, I decided to go on a 3-day smoothie fast, to cleanse my body, clear my mind, and get a jump start on my weight loss. On the last day, I did something incredibly dumb. I started cooking my meal for the next day. I have no idea what possessed me to do this. When I'm cooking, I usually taste the food to make sure it tastes to my liking. Without thinking, I was about to do this until my inner wisdom said, “Don’t cheat yourself out of everything you have been working for these last three days. Don’t throw it all away.”
This hit my soul like a ton of bricks because it wasn’t just about the food, it was about my own worthiness and confidence in myself to complete a goal. It spoke to the many ways I had been compromising what I really wanted for my life (let that marinate).
It was that day I decided, not to cheat myself anymore! So, I finished cooking my meal and wrapped it up for the next day. The food was amazing, and I felt so good for accomplishing my goal. It was the beginning of something special, a new phase in my life that is uncompromising. That's when I gave birth to Paula Clay Coaching, my career, and personal development coaching business.
The Story of My Company
My company is another example of me not cheating myself out of what I really wanted. In 2015, I wanted a company that would allow me to have a work-life balance, that valued my expertise, and appreciated my contribution. I ended up creating a company that did just that for me.
My last job offered me little reward for my efforts and I didn't want other women staying somewhere where they felt that way. Paula Clay Coaching is a career coaching business that helps high-achieving women articulate their value so they can attain their desired career path.
How to Stop Cheating Yourself
If you're used to cheating yourself, it may be a bit difficult to stop. As a matter of fact, you may not even realize you're doing it. The important thing to remember is you need to set goals. Most people are good at setting goals but they don't achieve them because they don't follow through. After you set goals, you have to focus on them.
I’d like to share a few tips on how you can stay focused on your goals:
1. You must set meaningful goals that are going to have an impact on your life.
2. Be wise with whom you share your goals, everyone will not understand.
3. Have some patience with yourself and don’t give up too soon just because you are not seeing immediate results.
4. Stick with your plan and do not chase shiny objects… just distractions to get you off your path.
5. Develop a strong mindset, by adding mediation, prayer, positive affirmations, inspirational music, etc. to your daily routine.
Real growth is knowing that your title does not define you, it is knowing your value and being uncompromising about the real-life you want to live. Settling for less than what I really wanted would be me cheating myself. Here’s to you, not cheating yourself and being uncompromising in life and career!
-Mrs. Paula Clay